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Old 01-21-2009, 03:54 AM
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Default My friend Jeremy

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JEREMY HOYLAND



This photo was taken on October 13th, 2008 by pixelthis.com, I'm discussing a difficult situation with Jeremy. He runs the land and I run the water at the World Finals...together we are 'one'.

I was asked to go to the Bali Beach Games as the Water Safety Director. Instead I had a date I wanted to go to and I had been away for so many months training, I wanted some down time. But then I wouldn't get the down time as the AWA needed some associate support, and I cannot deny, we are a solid team. Their board of directors meeting was going to be held at the Ranch, and so I made that commimtent, which stepped the Bali Games right afterwards, as a long travel trip abroad. I have been traveling extensively, fatigue was catching up to me, people needed training, I was getting caged in.

The Kawasaki 260X was delivered, David Pu'u showed up for the photo shoot, we went to visit the Huglins, it was still a hectic pace. I had just finished the most grueling work I produce, the IJSBA World Finals. I had trained a team of 12 plus managing the water safety and officiating for the international 'best jet ski racers' globally...it is taxing, but this is what drives me. I hunger for the fight. (that's a metaphor)..LOL

Jeremy Hoyland was one of 3 race directors at the World Finals. He is from Britain and we've worked together for several years, earning one anothers admiration. We run heavy and hard, we run with mindset and we don't have to talk, just look at one another, it's like that with Blake Corning and Jacque Bryant, we know what we are doing and we do it well, the world's best. This didn't come easy.

The last I saw Jeremy he was in his rental car at the race site, we were packing our gear, everything was done. He wanted to talk to me about the Bali Games. The winds were pushing at 35-40 miles per hour, the beach was wanting to breach a white out. He yelled out of his rolled down window" STAY HERE, I"ll be back in 10 minutes, i really want to talk to you!". I gave him the thumbs up, we both smiled, he sped off. He never returned, I waited for a few hours, then began my trek back across the desert pulling my four place jet ski trailer and all the water rescue gear, and with Jochi Pardo for k38 Spain in tow. That was the last I would ever see of my friend.

I had just come home from the week at Dos Pueblos Ranch....life was perfect, I was on a personal high, a best. I was so tired from Worlds, a week had passed but I had accelerated, not slowed down at all. I was still recovering from the release of intense direction and focus, it takes a huge drain on me. I wanted to sleep and forget about the world. About 10:00pm I had a strong thought about Jeremy. I had not uploaded any of the 2,000 pics yet, nor looked at them. I turned on my comptuer and began systematically looking for his pictures and putting them in a separate file. After an hour of this, I told myself 'this is crazy, why are you doing this?" I thought I should call Scott Frazier the next day and talk to him about the Bali Games. I didn't want to go, and had already told Scott this. I was burned out and I wasn't really needed, but I should check in with the team. What I thought was that the staff was highly trained, and its time to let others take leads, I felt very sure in this conviction. I would call tomorrow.

My phone rang as the sun rose, I don't usually get up this early? I stumble to the phone and see that its Kay. I pick up and say 'hello". She says "I'm so sorry to call you, I have some bad news'...I grab my head and began to repeat the same words because I know she is telling me something of shock value. Jeremy is missing in Bali, His jet ski sunk and he was offshore, he's been missing for over a day.....

I know what this means. I train people to respond to situations such as this. But this is our Jeremy, our friend, my friend, a husband, a father. The next thought is it will be alright, everything will sort itself out. This was October 24th when Jeremy went missing. I can't get a call through to Scott, I get on the interent and begin a long distance search and rescue compiliation of friends and colleagues. David who just did our photo shoot contacts his friends in Bali, a search is on with other searches being conducted simultaneously. I do not sleep well, in fact I'm not sure I slept much for that first critical week.

I have to go down to Camp Pendleton on Sunday mid afternoon and pick up the 260X Kawasaki...instead of picking it up, I launch it from the base and ride out to the open ocean. I shut off the jet ski. i'm about the same distance he was last reported at, this became very personal. A lot went through my mind. I drifted.

I have to get off to a training, the LA Port Police. I want to cancel. I do not cancel. I follow through with the commitment, thier department has been waiting a long time. It was exceptionally difficult. Steve Hinojos came to help me teach from San Bernardino Co. Sherriff's. I intentionally took the students offshore on our Jet Skis for our night operations training, exactly to the mile marker I felt that Jeremy was missing at. I stopped and looked around at our turnabout point, it was about 10:00PM. I was deeply moved. I felt grave and helpless. Who wouldn't?

At about 10:00pm nightly my phone would begin to ring, from the UK, it would continue for hours. I would stay up all night guiding contacts on what the next best move was. Then in the morning, the phone would ring from Bali. It was a 24 hour dance, plus juggling the class. I kept my cell in a waterproof bag on an arm strap. My law enforcement students were most giving and considerate. They were moved by Jeremy's plight. This is what they do, serve our public and this became personal to all of us. We lit a candle memorial for Jeremy during class. I believed everything would work out. Jeremy's phone was sending texts for the first 6 hours, then all contact was lost. Jeremy and the Jet Ski have not been found. It is almost January.

One week had passed since Jeremy's loss. I had a profound 'awakening' dream. Jeremy had sent me an email. I woke up and turned my comptuer on, looking for it. It was so real, I believed it had really happened. I sat in bed crying when I realized it was a dream only. In my dream I saw Jeremy. He was apologzing to me. He told me to tell everyone he was really sorry about this, he was heartbroken this was so hard on everyone. I tried to have a conversation with him. He just said he was sorry and I would understand. I sat up sobbing in my bed.

I wrote to Dominic that I had this dream this morning, he said he had the same dream. This has haunted me. Was it my own ego seeking solace for not being able to save Jeremy? To do something to intervene. I feel guilty I wasn't there for Jeremy. I would have gone. I struggle every day with this. I am not alone in these thoughts.

Brad said to me, 'we can't do anything for the dead, but we can focus on the living'. Life is like that, it is crisp, cold and direct when dealing with facts. Life is a process. Sometimes it feels so good, the hunger blinds us. Then it can feel so dark, we can get lost easily. What will my ending be like? I don't want people to worry about it, I will earn my own death because I am living my life well enough. When it is time to surrender, i will shatter from my body into a thousand cascading diamonds.

I will always miss Jeremy. I have fond memories of our collaboration, our personal best, we confided in things that run the fringe of life. In fact in the photo I posted here, I had just done a really dangerous rescue and I was talking to him about it and we were checking the track, I needed to debrief so I could return to the 'battle' so to say...there is intense energy, we move as one. I usually have about 30 seconds for a briefing like this, we run fast. 35 races run a day, sometimes I can barely get back to the starting line in time for the next start, we run a tight ship and we have to, people depend upon us. Problems occur and we have to manage them to the best of our ability and experience in any given moment.

It is similar to when you get into a tight spot, and you depend upon others for your own safety enough to trust them with your very life, or others trust you with theirs.

Jeremy will continue to inspire me to lead others well in search and rescue. His story will live on with us.

Everyone has a story. This is only a small part of Jeremy's, and a continuous one of my own. I miss you, and I'm so very sorry.


http://flickr.com/photos/k38shawn/sets/72157608363645577/
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Old 04-30-2009, 05:08 PM
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NEVER FORGET JEREMY HOYLAND
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